Ideally we all want to start new relationships with a clean slate. Nobody wants the emotional baggage from their last relationships to mar their new ones. It’s a sure route to disaster. This is the reason we all need to be done with the heartache of our previous relationships to be over before we start seeing someone. And we all expect our partners to be in the same state of mind. Nostalgia related to your last relationship can be a debilitating feeling, especially if it’s your partner who’s still not over their ex. The problem here is that a lot of guys aren’t entirely over their ex when they start a new life with a new partner.
Only because you were done with your last relationship and partner doesn’t necessarily mean he was too. A major possibility is that he got into this relationship with you as a rebound strategy to deal with the grief. The reasons however can be many and varied, but the point remains. He’s still not over his ex, despite the fact that he’s dating you. So if you’re okay with being just a stepping stone in his quest for healing, if you’re fine with being a temporary rebound than go on. If you’re not, it’s time to think things through.
The difficult part here is to figure out if he’s still hung over his ex. He won’t say it out loud. Ever. So you need to be extremely observant and figure things out for yourself. It’s for your own sake. Here are a few sure signs that you need to look out for which show he’s still thinking about his ex.
If he’s just been out of a relationship, there are high chances of him still brooding over his ex. It’s an established fact that heartache can take some time to heal. And you need to give him some time to figure out if he’s sure about this new relationship with you or will he let you go. It’s wise to not get into anything serious before you’re sure about how he perceives this new relationship.
It’s alright to keep her number, for very common reasons. He might need something from her or maybe he’s pushed her back into irrelevance. But if he’s got pictures of her and old text conversations, he’s probably still thinking about her before going to sleep.
It’s common to have friendships with his ex’s friends and family. Especially if the relations was a long one. But it’s alarming if he’s still in close contact with them after the breakup. Maybe he’s looking for some hopes of reunion. You just need to be careful.
This is a no-go zone. There’s no reason why he should be looking out after her, or doing her any commonplace favors. But if he’s still thinking about her, or running seemingly routine errands for her, it’s a high possibility that he’s looking to get her back. Be careful if you see this happening.
There’s no reason why his ex should be a topic of discussion between you and him. She’s part of history, painful history, and must be treated as such. Pushed back and ultimately out of his mind. But if he’s constantly bringing her up during conversations, even subconsciously, than he isn’t entirely over her. And it’s a sign of disrespect towards you.
He still has got souvenirs from his past relationship. It’s normal to have some stuff or gifts lying around. But it’s absurd to keep them like they’re a piece of his soul. Especially long after he’s broken up. Keeping her things show he’s not willing to let her go.
This shows he’s trying to recreate the moments he had with his ex. What he should be doing is trying to make some new memories, instead of just substituting the person in the same settings. If he’s trying to experience the same things he did with his ex, he’s probably thinking too much about her long gone love.
Comparing you to her, making her an ideal of how you should be behaving, and constantly giving examples of how she used to do things is a red light. In his mind he’s still thinking about her and just trying to make you a clone of who she was.
If he’s stalking her on Facebook, this means he is still interested in her life. He’s still thinking about her and that means you’re not as important in his life as you would want to be.
He should be working towards cutting her out of his life. And communication is the first thing that needs to go out the window after a breakup. If he’s still talking to her, he’s surely not serious about you. While he should be giving you all his undivided attention, he’s still talking to his ex. Says enough about where things are going.