After spending a life dissolved in relationships, I have realized a thing or two. If you’ve been living the single life for too long or even if you’ve been hopping from one partner to another, you can’t deny the fact that good things happen to those who wait. It’s a simple concept of believing in the idea of finding the ‘one.’ The one you’ve been waiting for all along. In your single-dom, you’re bound to get anxious and impatient especially if you have friends who’re in relationships (they don’t shy away from rubbing it in your face). You start worrying, and the seed of doubt is planted in your head. You start doubting yourself. Do you start to think that maybe you’re not good-looking enough?
Maybe you’re not smart enough? Or maybe you just don’t know what you’re looking for?
Well, I’m here to tell you that being single can be the best thing for you. Why? Because it gives you time to explore yourself. It helps you discover yourself. Being in a relationship just for the sake of having someone to go to the movies with is just plain old meaningless. When you’re single, you live the way you want to live. You do all that you want to do, and nothing is imposed on you. You get the first-hand experience of steering the ship (your life) because you’re it’s sole captain. You focus your energy on being productive and things that give you satisfaction. You’re responsible for your own happiness. Most importantly though, waiting for the right person can make you whole-heartedly stronger as a person. All of this boils down to the fact that being single can get you through the darkest of days. Once you’ve established your resolve, you can focus on sharing all that you’ve learned about yourself with the right person, someone who gets you. Let’s look at a few solid reasons as to why it’s okay to take your time in searching for a life-partner.
1) Being Yourself
Many times when you’re on the prowl looking for someone you can have children with, you forget about yourself. You forget about how important you are. When you’re single and waiting, you’re comfortable in your own skin. You’re not walking on eggshells all the time. You don’t have to worry about what others think of you. You don’t have to act according to other people’s preferences. Your loyalty is to yourself. You can be exactly who you want to be without any external factors affecting you. You have your own dos and do not’s. This way whoever you find, whenever it is you two cross paths, will accept you for who you are and not for what other people think. This is a tricky predicament, but boy is it worth the wait!
2) You know what you deserve
If you’ve ever been in a relationship that ended in heartbreak, you probably didn’t know your worth. You see when you’re not jumping from here to there in the desperate hope of finding someone you have more time to focus on what your ideal relationship should be like. You observe all the relationships growing and breaking apart around you, and you realize exactly what you want. There’s a difference between knowing what you want and knowing what you deserve. You won’t take anyone’s crap because you know you’re worth more than that. You know the amount of respect you deserve and never settle for anything less than that. Respect can make or break a relationship, so it’s a pretty good thing if you’ve got that one down!
3) Being Independent
Being self-reliant or independent is one of the hardest skills to acquire in life. Us humans are built with a heart that beats almost every second, in that beating is a desire to be loved by someone. Some people run in the other direction when they hear the word independent because they think it makes them a loner. If being at peace with one’s own self is being a loner even I’d want to be one. Waiting for that person can teach you how to stand on your own two feet and pick yourself up when you fall. It helps to be independent because you find the right guy/girl you’re not needy or clingy. If you’re too dependant on your significant other, there’s a high probability that they might take you for granted and end up being a source of misery for you. People who are doing well on their own for example living the good life, making money and partying it up with a bunch of friends all have one thing in common. They’re all independent enough to go through any hardship without being burnt completely.
4) People reading skills
It may seem funny to you when you’re not directly involved in the small scuffles that tend to happen in relationships. You laugh it off, but you take a thing or two from it. You become observant. This happens unconsciously. After being witness to plenty of mini-fights your friends have with their partners, your mind establishes a mechanism that helps you read people and their antics better. You know what to expect from people. You get better at judgement, and the odds of investing yourself into someone who isn’t worth it are minimised by far. The players your girlfriends keep telling you about; you’re their kryptonite. You know how to give them the cold shoulder while keeping your dignity intact. In fact, they know better than to mess with someone who will actually call their bluff right on their faces.
An art I am yet to master, but if I would ever advise anyone about what skill they ought to possess it would be patience. If you’re patient, you will know that the right person will come knocking on your door at the right time. You won’t spend a life in agitation waiting for things to happen quickly. You’ll be content with what you have, and you’ll keep the faith. Impatience can ruin things and make them go from bad to worse pretty quickly. When you’re waiting patiently, you can enjoy the best things life has to offer because you know that time is not an issue when you’re looking for a soulmate. You avoid the boulder of desperation as it passes you by.
6) Nerves of Steel
Think about it, if you’ve spent a life in peaceful isolation nothing can scare you. In waiting for the right person, you’ve developed a resolute shell that can only be broken by true and utter fulfilling love. You’re not one to shy away when you’re being neglected or wrongly treated. And when the right opportunity presents itself, you take that challenge in your stride. It won’t seem like a daunting task; you will know what to do and exactly how to do it. You don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment when you’re talking to someone who gives you that tingling feeling. You know how to handle yourself properly. You don’t do anything extra, but you just be you and be you well.
7) Never give up attitude
After countless failed relationships or even after a life spent in single-ville these people do not give up. Ever heard the saying, “ sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me “? Well, it perfectly applies here. The opinions of every tom, dick and harry do not phase them at all. They’re least bothered about the world’s sweeping statements like “Are you still single?” Or “What happened with John?” Or “You should consider dating again.” All of these statements fuel their fire, and they remain steadfast on the journey to finding the right person.
8) Mental Strength
Those who live alone for a long time possess a certain expertise on controlling their emotions. They know how to handle situations appropriately and with due diligence. When you’ve been out of the market for a long time, your mind is re-wired according to your needs and wants. Your mind knows what you want and how you’re going to get it. Even when you’re searching for a potential life partner, you develop a cost-benefit analysis of your own. You don’t let your emotions outweigh your control all the time, but just at the right time.
9) A trusted group of constants
When you’re not in a relationship, it gives you the chance to analyze your social circle. You then pick out those you would want by your side at all times, and then there are those who you could do without. This way, you don’t let yourself be disappointed by people who seem to be close to you. You conjure up a solid group of friends who can stand by you at your strongest and weakest points in life. These friends may be the source of your inner strength and might have a huge part to play in your future.
10) Focus on your goals
With the extra time on your hands, you start figuring out how to attain the goals and objectives you’ve set for yourself. Everyone has dreams, some are more individualistic and are to be shared with someone else. The individualistic dreams are given an emphasis when you’re single. You keep waiting for the right person, but side by side you create a happy place for your self. That happy place comprises of the dreams you once had. If you’re single, you can be the rockstar you always wanted to be, touring the world one stop at a time with no responsibilities bringing you down.
These were just a few of the reasons waiting can help you become a more mature, self-reliant and stable version of yourself. I’m not saying you’ll stay that way all your life but once you’ve got the basics covered finding the right partner is a piece of cake. You don’t have to change for anyone as you know that you’re happy being you. Whoever you manage to find will fall in love with your personality rather than what you look like or how much you earn. You won’t be deceived easily by players either. You’re too good for them. And when you wait long enough, there will come a time when that one person will show up around the corner out of the blue and sweep you off your feet like a breath of fresh air.