Instead of plucking those flower petals for the hundredth time and playing that curiosity enriched game of “he likes me … he likes me not”. Give those flowers a break and examine these staggering steps for they are to open your eyes for sure.let us unearth your secret admirer together. From the cute guy you met at the bar to the “best friend” you made when school started; nobody is safe when you read this piece of genius. Who knows he may be closer than you think he is.
Misconception of impression
There is this rapidly growing misconception that if a guy is telling you about the time he won the MVP and how he goes on and on as to him not intending to get the coveted title, labelling it as “it just happened … I had no idea I’d become MVP” then trust me, that is not him trying to impress you. Its just the inner narcissist in him that awakens whenever he talks to the opposite sex. He probably isn’t trying to impress you and is just flaunting what he doesn’t have. If someone is to have the key to your heart, he’ll use it gently; knowing exactly what lies within. He will not try to impress you but in fact he will be impressed BY you. Yes, your clumsiness is the reason he is drowning in your love. This will be visible as the guy will point his fondness about you and your personality now and then and will worship you. Easy there tiger! That doesn’t mean he’ll shower you with compliments all day an everyday but the subtle “how did you pull that off?” would suffice. He will leave you bewildered at times when you would least expect it.
Who gives a shit?
Im sure you’ve all come across that guy whose sweet and kind when chilling with you but as soon he catches a glimpse of his “boys” looking, he completely changes his tone and makes a perfect conversation as awkward as it could get which just cries out for you to look for an excuse and runoff the hills; rescuing you from this abyss as soon as possible. The reason why I just gave you this example is that cases like these are very common and are the phase where the significant other might be into you but still not considering letting everything go just for you. Its the guy whose not earnest about his affection for you that could, quite often, get him teased; whether its by the jocks or the sneezy snitches or, in this case, his best buddy. He could be teased by his family and friends about him being “too affectionate” when it comes to you and the moment when he stops caring about what other people think about him and how he treats you, is the moment he truly has started caring for you completely. For when he has, as the heading states, stopped giving a shit about what people think, then that is the time when he is yours for the taking. It is now that he has opened himself up completely for you to explore his inner vulnerabilities. This is when most relationships starting booming and it’s one of the most beautiful things you will ever see.
Dress to impress
He’s going to a family wedding and as cleaned up quite well; putting on his best cologne and rocking that suit. When he’s all dolled up, he’ll fish routes on how to impress you by his looks and let you know “thats the best I’ve looked in a long time …. Notice me”. Now beware for boys are not the best when it comes to opening up so be ready for that awkward yet sexy picture with his cousin or his mother but do not really expect that typical mirror selfie from him for he may be too shy to flaunt his flashy suit and on point hair which he spent hours on just to make them perfect. He may also be way too anxious about what you’ll think if he sends you that selfie as his mind will play with him; making him second guess a perfect selfie which was to be his curtain call for sure:“why are you being too obvious” or “not the vibe you want to give mate”. Its baby steps, I know, but he is to send you that sexy picture with his cousin which will make you go wow. If he is to dress to impress you and sends that picture he’s so dying for you to love, then he is under your spell, woman.
If you haven’t noticed it in your life and your interactions with the opposite sex, boys are not ready to open up at all. Its this ancient old stigma that if boys are to express themselves than they have broken the moral code of manliness and are to be deprived of their manhood just because they told someone how their day went. Don’t get me wrong, this does exist, more than you could imagine. If you have that guy who randomly texts you or calls you to et you know about how he ditched work or school for something else and expresses his emotions in front of you than ding ding ding! We have found a winner! But that does not include those weird late night calls from him; expressing his sexual tension and asking you to “relieve him of his worries”, that is certainly not the guy you want to look forward to.
The waiting game
When your looking for the guy who is drowning in your love, you’re looking for one thing that many people and relationships crave for; understanding. If that guy understands your situation and is not pissed when you say you’d like to consider waiting until the time is right to get into bed with him. That is where you completely examine the guy; was it his lust for my body that was his drive? Or does he truly realise the real essence of loving the other person and understand the concept of waiting until YOU feel is right to upgrade your relationship to something even more meaningful. Simply, if he is ready to put his foot off the gas he does fancy you and does understand your hesitation; willing to play the waiting game.
The word that shall not be uttered under the presence of a group of men called “the lads”. This is said to be the repellant that exists in every relationship or to-be relationship present in this world today. If theres a guy who won’t hesitate and pounce on any occasion he finds to be with you, even if is only to say hi, he will do anything possible to meet you. Against all odds, which include the cruelty of time that is always against him, he will consider it his duty to accompany you whenever you need him there. This means that he is committed to the cause which is your happiness and is willing to go to the ends of this earth to have that 15 minute conversation, even if its a completely random conversation about school or work. It could even be your rants and tantrums in general of how the world is treating you and if he is willing to go through that conversation than he is the one you’ve been searching for.
Life after sex
He takes you out for the movies, treats you like a lady, and you guys have the perfect spice added in between. You feel the vibe and go back to his place. Both of you reach the pinnacle of intimacy and have the time of your lives on his bed. But when you wake up next morning, you realise he is not how he was last night and gives you the cue to leave so he can chill with “his boys” now.The feeling of being used starts to creep in which leaves you depressed and in regret. The true essence of love lies in the life that starts after sex. When he looks at you in the morning, your hair all messed up and the make up you put on for him all washed up and he still compliments you and offers you a date to the movies AGAIN is when you know that he was not one of them and truly deserves the key to your heart.
Make ‘enough’ money
Those who think that you do not need money to live a happy life, well I just disagree with them. I’ll tell you why. When you’re appropriately self-sufficient and racking up the numbers in the bank account every month, you can let your pocket loose and focus on other things. Other things like let’s say your crush’s birthday. You will have enough money to carry out all the extravagant plans that you had once thought of. When you started liking him/her you envisioned scenarios in your head where you wanted to grant them the world in the palm of their hand. What that necessarily means is you wanted to fulfil all their worldly luxurious desires. I’m not saying this is the only thing that matters. But when you have enough money to afford lunch dates, dinner dates and the occasional gift boxes, you’re bound to make them feel special more often than not.
Be the first
Be the first to ask him to stay back with you at school. Be the first to ask him about how he feels about you. Be the first to ask him out. Being the first is considered a taboo for women these days. They think it makes them look slutty and desperate. Whereas men are obliged to do so? This is an unwritten law that has been diligently followed by, mostly women, because it suits them. They’re never the ones who have to muster up the courage to take the first step. Why? Because ‘it’s a guy’s job’. If everyone realised how this phenomenon has ruined potential relationships over the years, we’d be living in a much better world, where love would flow freely with minimalistic hindrances. Doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman. If you love someone, be the first and go for it! Once we get over this false code of conduct we’ve established, the first step will be as easy as pie. It’s all about what you really want.